so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
