My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
