you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
