i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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