The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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