Nicole vs. Life
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
