There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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