My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish I only lived at night.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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