Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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