The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
