what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
