As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
