you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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