Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
You made out with two different species that night
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
