she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
