Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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