decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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