they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
