those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
