it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
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