with your own penis?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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