This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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