i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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