I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize