So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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