so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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