do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
