God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
and you fell through a lawn chair
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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