Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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