when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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