I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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