hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
