wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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