So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Quick, to the slutcave!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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