She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
