can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
