Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize