theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
