just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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