He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
