Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
