Your tits are I can't wait for
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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