Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
