Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
