I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
