That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
