well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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