u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
