Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
