We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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