Kareoke will never be a sober sport
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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