Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
