arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
