I can't breathe out the right side of my face
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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