Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty

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(803): View more from South Carolina

The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....

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(813): View more from Florida

He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?

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(614): View more from Ohio

mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.

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(214): View more from Texas

I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake

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(708): View more from Illinois

this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick

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(219): View more from Indiana

My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."

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(347): View more from New York

Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer

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