So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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