I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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