Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize