Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
her vagine was all disorganized.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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