haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh god the rape fog is back!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
