Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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