i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
