i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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