I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
