i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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