just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You ruined the universe
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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