your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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