Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
