the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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