I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I have fence marks all over my body
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
