the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
