I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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