two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
