Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Randomize
