i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize