Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
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I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
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Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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